I Vote “Sweet’n Spicy” for Cowboys 2023 Offense

Cowboys aren’t going to the Super Bowl next season. So how about we aim for premium entertainment? I love me some Forty-burgers and Fifty burgers.

1. Put the tag on Tony Pollard but trade him before the season when a few teams lose their RBs to injuries in August (always happens). Save the money for other goodies. Pollard is a top-six back but he’s at that age where things head south and we need to get younger at the position. That trade could net a 4th or 5th round pick for ’24 and opens up cap space.

2. Load up on some Bijan Mustard in round one. I’m the first guy to say that RBs have short careers and that o-lines are more important for run game success. But this is a lightweight draft and Bijon is perhaps the best RB of the past five years. Many say he is the best pure football player in this class. I want to watch beautiful football–Bijan delivers lots of that. So productive, so spicy!

3. Cut Zeke. Give him an emotional press conference with tears and hugs. Not worth further discussion.

4. In round 3 draft one of the numerous nimble slot receivers. For now: Nathaniel Dell. Tiny little jitterbug who simply stacked up nation’s #1 yards and TDs.

5. Take one of our three round five picks to double dip into one of the richest running back classes ever. Don’t yet have a name.

6. Bring back Terence Steele. Steele and Tyler Smith could be the best run-blocking tackle combo in the league.

With these moves we get younger, which means more speed, resilience and we also load up cap space for a big signing or two. We take the load off Prescott. This plan leaves dry powder to further enhance the offense or stack up on D. Go Sweet. Go Spicy. Heavy on the Bijan Mustard.

I reserve the right to renounce every part of this plan in the next two months.

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